Horror House

I've watched this movie a few times now and never regret it. Released in 2008 and part of the After Dark Horrorfest III, this movie was influenced by a lot of popular slasher themes - hospitals, crazy doctors and lots of gore. Autopsy is also a love story but I'll leave you to watch it to figure out how that works. Our band of five friends is about to be admitted to a hospital where the only discharge is blood. As Carl Weathers says, "Here we go!"

What happens at Mardi Gras stays at Mardi Gras except when you drunkenly crash your car into an escaped hospital patient. Thankfully, they are all okay and most importantly still drunk because a car crash can really jam up your buzz. Surprise, no cell phone service on the desolate Louisiana back road one hundred miles past the corner of Middle and Nowhere streets. Luckily, an ambulance out looking for the escaped patient happens to pass by and picks up the fivesome to take them for treatment at the ironically named Mercy hospital. Right from the start, something isn't right about this place. No one is in this hospital and it appears there is only one doctor on staff, the nurse claims this is a consequence of Hurricane Katrina, but c'mon would you believe that? If anything that whirlwind should have stirred up some funding for disaster relief! One by one, they are called to the exam room...

Well it doesn't take long and as one of our partygoers makes his way to the pharmacy to get his fix, our main character (Jessica Lowndes, who is easy on the eyes) has a one-on-one consultation with the doctor. She puts the pieces together that this place isn't a hospital, it's a laboratory. The doctor is trying to save his ill wife by harvesting body parts from the unlucky ones who happen upon his establishment. Oh and by the way, the staff is made of convicts recruited from a prison.

Gore, gore, gore is what happens next.

The movie wraps up pretty abruptly but I kinda like quick resolutions that leave some doors open. Others may not... Autopsy is a great little film with good acting and special effects. You won't exactly find yourself rooting for the characters but they have a good dynamic and the one-dimensional ones get chopped up pretty quickly. The director and producers really knew what they were doing. Honestly, I'm surprised this isn't more popular.

4/5 screams on this one.

Check it out on Netflix.com and comment back with your thoughts. Follow me @furly2Fly on them Twitternets!

I have plenty of real entertaining material coming soon but in the mean time, allow me a day or two to get all this schoolwork out of the way. Definitely worth the wait on this one...

Don't forget to follow me @furly2Fly on that Twitter!

I was so excited to watch this movie. Residents of a small town unknowingly become test subjects for the effects of electromagnetic waves on the human brain. I major in physics in college so I figured this would be right up my alley. Now I want to explicitly state that I have watched a lot of really bad movies and I love to give them all an equal chance when I sit down and click play, usually making it all the way through. I just could not do this one.

We start off in a very dreary small town where all the residents know each other and most of them work at the local factory. Our main character is a jack of all trades repair man that the whole town loves and notices a mysterious grey van driving around the roads of the town. He puts it behind him and carries on with his normal life. However, he should have sounded the alarm because that night, the van pulls up to a house and nukes a lady gathering her clothes from the clothes line outside. She falls, passes out and suddenly falls very ill. Our main character then finds himself in a similar situation while out hunting. We are now approximately 45 minutes into the film and virtually NOTHING has happened. I had to cut it off, I was so bored I started working on a crossword puzzle.

This movie tried to create a creepy atmosphere but it was just too slow even for my patience. The way it was filmed was an attempt at creativity but it just didn't work for this concept and the 16mm film looked like it was released in 1987 not 2007. The actors were subpar and every line felt so forced and uncomfortable. I really hoped for this movie to be a hit but what can you do...you win some you lose some.

Bottom line, stay away from this movie unless you want to bore yourself to sleep. 0 screams out of 5.

Reminder: this is just my opinion, I have read other reviews that had nothing but praise for this flick.

You can find it on netflix.com if you dare. If you have watched this movie please comment and let me know your thoughts.

Released 20 years ago, this adaptation of a Stephen King short story still has some shining qualities. By the title you'd assume that it's a supernatural ghost movie. Quite the contrary. I did not expect the movie to materialize in the way that it did and when a B movie can surprise you, it's generally pretty good.

There is a problem down at the old textile mill, people keep dying in "accidents" on the graveyard shift. Turns out, the place is completely infested with rats and I can tell you (because it's my job and future career) that this is not in compliance with OSHA. However, the foreman is a real hard-ass and won't shut it down while the problem is being resolved. Instead, he hires a ridiculous exterminator - definitely my favorite character - who tells stories of rats eating people back when he was in the Vietnam war. Well the exterminator can't eradicate the problem on his own so the foreman is forced to assemble a clean up crew to work in the bowels of the mill over the off week of the 4th of July.

The clean up crew begins work and soon finds a trap door that leads even deeper under the mill. Down they go. This is not a good idea but what's a horror movie without some terrible decisions? They soon find themselves lost in a maze of tunnels far underground being picked off one by one by a giant bat with a taste for human blood. Yeah, a bat. I don't know how we went from rats to a bat but hey, that's what the director wanted. A final standoff between the bat and the main character ends with an "accident" for the bat. #Winning.

Pros: This movie does a good job of creating and maintaining suspense throughout but keep in mind it's the slow moving old school style devoid of wild special effects and "jump" moments. The actors were a lot better than what I expected to see. The exterminator is an awesome character. For 1990, the giant bat was a very well done animatronic creature and wasn't really laugh worthy aside from the fact that it's a giant bat living underground. The supporting rat cast appeared to be a collection of trained rats that were capable of being called to attention in a line which made for some creepy moments with hundreds of rats looking down from the rafters.

Cons: The movie is older so as I said, it doesn't have a lot of special effects if that's what you're into. The concept is cool but from what I understand, deviates significantly from the way it was originally written by Stephen King.

Since it's not all that scary I'll rate it 2.5 screams out of 5 but I still highly recommend checking it out.

You can check it out on FearNet On Demand (or the website) and netflix.com. As always, comment with your thoughts!

The title tells it all, it's about a bear. Released in 2010, this movie is not really a horror flick although it falls under the genre on most websites. Okay, what can I say about this movie? Everything was completely implausible and goes against what anyone in that situation would do. But hold on! Overall, it was entertaining enough to make it all the way through.

We begin our journey in a minivan with four people who are on their way to a birthday party. Two brothers and their respective girlfriends. With the younger brother at the helm, he of course takes a reckless shortcut he found on MapQuest of all places. Last time I checked, you can't find unmarked roads on there but who knows, maybe you can in California. The van blows a tire and they are stranded without cell phone service on the side of a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Changing a flat is about as simple as car service comes but the younger brother completes the task in true rookie fashion. Just as we are about to pack up and hit the ol' dusty trail, they hear something BIG out in the woods. Now, most people in this situation would just let it be and get on their way. This quartet can't do that here and next thing you know, they are staring down the open mouth of a Grizzly (Grizzly bears are in fact extinct in California and have been since 1922...). Big brother gets the bright idea to pull his heater and unload an entire 9mm magazine into the bear. The bear dies.

Uh oh! Turns out they killed a female bear and boyfriend bear wants revenge. The younger brother says according to Native Americans, grizzly bears have intelligent thoughts and emotions (I have no idea if it is true that Native Americans thought this) and this is the reason the bear keeps coming back to terrorize the group. Boyfriend bear is relentless in his pursuit of revenge for the loss of his dearly beloved. At one point, the big brother escapes and runs miles down the road to the party they were trying to reach but the bear catches him before entering the restaurant and drags him back to the clearing on the side of the road where the entire movie takes place. Let me say this one more time in case you didn't catch that, the bear follows, catches and finally drags the man back miles...the whole point is for the group to choose between sin and redemption (you have to watch it on your own to find out what they've done wrong in their lives). That's right, the bear is trying to teach them a lesson not just looking for some tasty human meat sweetened with revenge.

This movie makes no sense. No one would ever find themselves in a situation like this if they had any sort of intelligence left. This is exactly why we watch B movies though! However, the dialogue is pretty funny throughout. I give credit for the concept it just could have been executed better. The actors weren't half bad and the way it was shot was pretty good. The cameras seemed to know what they were doing. There was a decent budget for special effects and what not. The best part about this film, it used REAL bears. Hilariously, you can see the trainer in the middle of the shot in one scene. Oops. But for real, the bears made this movie and I found myself on their side throughout the entire thing.

I can't give this a horror rating as I normally would because it's technically a thriller. I would recommend this movie to everyone. You'll get a few laughs out of it and see some very well trained bears.

Check it out! You can find it on netflix.com and comment back with your thoughts!

Hey all!

Life is finally chill enough for me to post again. Yes, I know it has been a long while but get over it because there are a lot of excellent reviews coming up!

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